Go Rest High on that Mountain (Bluff)

Bear with me, Friends.

Burial Day.

The family met at Uncle Randy's

early-ish in the morning.

Me, again without sleep.

It was a somber, gray, foggy, cold, ugly, sad day.

I swear I created the weather with my mood.

Yesterday, I was social and gracious

(if I do say so myself)

Today, I didn't have to be.

I was just with my family.

And I was the saddest sad I have ever felt.

Ever.

Ever.

Ever.

My sisters and I rode with Uncle Randy

and Dad's ashes between us,

caravan-ing with Grandma,
7 siblings, 2 ex wives,
and all their family members.

Up the winding, hilly, country roads

to Garden Bluff Cemetery,

where many of

our beloveds' are resting in peace.

 

Uncle Randy and my sisters asked if,

 I would "take Dad".

"Yes, yes, please and thank you for the honor".

I hugged his heavy urn so close to me.

Trying to keep us both warm in the bitter cold day.

(He was heavy and I joked

it was because he was so tall!)

So, Dad and I stepped in to join the family circle.

I looked around at the beautiful, loving family around me, so grateful
I wasn't alone.

And I cried.

Sobbed.

We joined hands and said the Our Father Prayer.

Uncle Brian recited a beautiful reading.

I just squeezed that heavy urn in my arms and looked into the sad eyes of those around me.

Feeling their sadness.

Feeling their sympathy for me and my sisters,
who stood so bravely next to me.

Feeling, like I just wished my Dad
was there to see how much he was loved.

How much his life mattered.

How many people he touched and
how greatly he will be missed.

And it was time to hand him over to Randy.

Randy put him in the ground.

My sisters, my daughters, and I each added a rose.

Dad loved roses.

Rose bushes.

By the 50's to be precise.

(hoarding tendencies with this guy)

And Uncles and Nephew Todd filled

the hole with the earth.

And they put up a make shift headstone of a cross made from his tomato stakes,

with his name on it in,
to mark his place,

 until we pick something permanent.
 

And Sister Emily added a ribbon from the flowers

"Son, Brother, Dad, Uncle, Grandpa"
 

And every one stood around

uncomfortable and sad and nervous and quiet.
 

And eventually every one looked at me,

as to what to do next.
 

And I just stood there frozen in sadness.
I didn't have the next move planned out.

I wasn't ready to leave.

I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

Uncle Randy came back from putting the empty once, dirt filled buckets,

 in the car and nonchalantly,
 stood next to me

and cracked open a Mountain Dew

(Dad's favorite vice)

And I busted out laughing.

He handing it to me.

I toasted my Party Loving Father,
 in the heavens

and I took a swig.

Lily got excited and hooted

"Mom, you have never let me try

Mountain Dew!"

I said

"Today, is your chance, Lily!

Take a sip and pass it on!"

 

So we passed that Mountain Dew

around the circle.
 

When it got to Randy again

we poured it on Dad's grave.

 

And we were ready to go.

And I hugged Uncle Randy

(who is almost as tall as Dad  and his hug feels alarmingly similar)
 

and I let out a wail

(full force, primal, final,
maybe weeping/sob/scream/all at the same time)
Thank you Uncle Randy for your accepting shoulder!)

 

We said hello to our other family members in the cemetery and headed back to Randy's for more family gathering.

 

Thanks for listening, Friends.

More to come.