Not broken

 

Friends,

Memorial Day Weekend

was mostly,

for me

about connecting with

my sisters.

These sisters.

The guys golfed,

the kids played,

and finally we had hours and hours,

to ourselves to reconnect.

 

In fact, at one point we were bored.

 

This hasn't happened in a very long time.

 

Julie and I were so bored,

we prank called her mom,

in true middle school style.

(with tears of laugher streaming out of our eyes,

and quite possibly pee down our legs)

 

After the boredom left,

the real conversations began,

and the lessons started.

 

They taught me something huge.

 

They gave me so much attention,

and reflected on what I had to say.

 

I was telling them how broken I was,

and how hard I was working on fixing myself.

 

As good SisterFriends do,

they empathetically listened and related.

 

They nodded along and cried with me

and laughed with me

and understood me.

 

And I thought, they agreed with me.

 

Until they spoke up.

 

Cathie first.

 

She disagreed, and she questioned me.

 

She challenged me.

 

She said

"I don't understand why

you think you need to be fixed. 

I don't think you are broken at all."

 

I sorta shut up.

 

I realized, she was right.

 

It was an Oprah A-ha Moment.

 

Because, I realized the things I wanted to "fix",

could never be fixed.

 

I always thought I was broken,

because I came from a broken home.

 

My Dad is gone.

And even if he was here,

I can't change or fix my past.

 

I lamely tried to defend my

"Yes, I am broken" soapbox,

but quickly realized, I am not broken.

 

I have been righteously wrong with this idea,

for a really long time.

 

Instead, I am full of successes and failures.

Strengths and weaknesses.

A history of good and bad.

 

In other words,

I am human.

(ta-da! Only took 37 years to know it.

Thank you very much I will be here all week!)

 

So, I can stop this silly self talk

about being broken and trying to fix myself.

I guess Popeye said it best with

"I yam what I yam!"

 

And as you can see,

my so called broken life,

is plenty and full.

 

 Full of love and acceptance.

 Full of honesty and friendship.

 Even if it looks messy and complicated,

at times.

So Friends,

we can all improve on ourselves,

but let's not try to fix,

what isn't broken.
 

In fact, let's celebrate our imperfect human-ness.

Its our connection, afterall.