I'll take a Silent Night, please.

Twas the night before Christmas,

and I didn't sleep a wink.

 

Sorry Friends,

Negative Nelly here,

feeling incredibly stressed out.

 

I had way too much to do.

Too much pressure.

Too many expectations.

 

I tried to get everything done,

so I could enjoy this day with my family and it wiped.me.out.

 

But I did get it all done,

so we could have a nice family day.

 

I started with coffee and

King's Corner with Charlotte.

I love playing games with her,

and easy, cozy, lazy days at home.

To stay with the big easy,

there was no cooking and no dishes.

 

Our dinner theme this year was sushi.

 

We considered making it at home,

 I hate to brag, but...

I have successfully done that before!

 

In thinking about our plan we quickly realized

the best sushi comes

from this hole in the wall place by our house,

that has all you can eat.

 

So we called ahead and they were open

and we settled on the new plan,

of going out instead of cooking.

 

When we left for dinner,

we drove by,

and they were actually closed.

So we ended up going to a nice

sushi place down the road.

 

We were not dressed for it at all.

 

As in, I was in my favorite,

active wear.

 

I am pretty sure the girls

didn't even brush their hair.

 

So then it became weird to be out on Christmas Eve, and not even dressed up.

 

But we laughed and ignored that part,

wondering why all the people around us were doing the same thing as us, only dressed better.

Haha!

 

 

Most importantly, it was delicious and we had fun.

Charlotte brought Susie Sushi Shopkins to join us.

When got home we opened a few gifts.

My favorite came from Charlotte.

 

1,000 hearts = your love,

she translated for me.

The girls are always excited to open

(my previous co worker) Roberta's gifts.

She lives in CA so her gifts are always cooler,

than anyone else's.

 

This year, she really outdid it =

Ray Bans, baby!

Of course we had our tradition

of Christmas jammies and books.

 

But my book was somewhere lost in the shuffle,

to be found in Darin's car weeks later.

 

Better than a book was, Puppy's First Christmas.

 

Letters to Santa.
 
We have a new/old/vintage

gumball machine,

so the girls left Santa gum balls,

and a sandwich bag,

suggesting he take some back to the North Pole.

 

Lily's note begged him to take a selfie,

to prove himself.

 

He didn't.

Soon after, everyone went to bed except me.

I couldn't sleep.

 

When they were little, I could put them to bed

and set out the gifts and fill the stockings

and sleep myself, knowing the job was done.

 

Well, they are growing up,

and they barely even believe anymore.

 

They are just waiting to catch me.

Lurking everywhere.

 

No time of night is safe.

They are never REALLY asleep enough,

and who knows when they will wake up?

 

So I stayed up all night like a nervous wreck.

 

I set my alarm for ridiculously early,

just to be sure.

 

And then sometime after 9 am,

when they were STILL asleep,

and I was on my third cup of coffee,
 staring for hours at my masterpiece

of filled stockings
and a slew of perfect gifts under the tree

(included a fully charged new computer)

we had to wake them up,

to remind them that it was Christmas morning.

 

OMG.

 

I started my Christmas-ing

totally exhausted,

and we had to wake up the teenagers children.

 

I think about next year,

and how I want to change things up a bit.

 

I want to avoid some of the

pressure and expectations.

 

I want to enhance the silent and

still, slow beauty that can be found in the season.

 

Did I say this last year too?

 

I am frazzled by shopping and wrapping,

and decorating and on and on.

 

I want to do it all so good,
for myself and for everyone.

I want to give the best gifts in the best packages.

 

I want my house decorated
in all the Christmas glory.

I want my kids to believe in Santa,
but I don't want to stay awake all night.
 

So maybe Santa isn't real?

 

Maybe my kids are outgrowing him?

 

Maybe I should let them outgrow it,

because playing Santa hasn't been nice to me.

 

Maybe I just melt down every year,

at this time when everything seems urgent and overwhelming?

 

All I really want for Christmas

is yoga every single day,

to find that stillness inside of me.

 

I want to get out of my head

and into the spirit.

The true spirit.
The true spirit of Christmas.

 

I would like share the spirit of Christmas

instead of playing Santa.

 

I would like to share the spirit
instead of perfect gifts in perfect packages.

 

Next year, I will Namaste'd in bed.
 

Here's to a long winters nap, Friends!