First Day of Preschool

Well I think my second post when I started the blog was about Lily's first day of preschool.

Ah-hem. That never really worked out for us for a variety of reasons that I won't get into. I think Darin, Lily, and I all had some issues with it and the timing wasn't right.

So when we signed her up this year we did it while crossing our fingers behind our back.

All four of us went to open house and met the teacher and Lily was so excited.

Lily and I went school shopping for new clothes and a backpack and other unnecessary items.

When it came time for her first day she was so excited she was sitting in the car 20 minutes ahead of time! I went to get gas first, just to pass the time. And we waited outside with other parents and children until the teacher opened the door. Lily ran in and found her cubby and waited in the line up. I was so proud of her!!!

One kid started crying and she looked at me all nervous. (to be totally honest all the kids were fighting back tears as the parents stood and took pictures and videos). Seeing Lily's sweet face, equal parts excited to be off in the world without me and scared to death for me to leave. I was going to cry. I knew better than to influence my brave girl with my co dependent stupidity. So Charlotte and I gave a quick wave and "have a great day Lily!" and we were off.

And I cried and I cried and I cried. And I KNOW this is stupid. And I KNOW the whole job of a mother is to raise children who are confident and independent and can get along in the world without you. But I still cried. Nevermind the "roots and wings" speech I gave myself. I just came home and wondered and wondered...what is she doing? how is she doing? how is she feeling? Can I go get her yet?

So when it came time to pick her up, I quickly saw that its custom to wait outside until the teacher calls her name. Well there I was offering to hold the door for the teacher, politely just trying to inch my way INSIDE to get a peek at my baby. And when her name was called it was followed by a chorus of "bye Lily"'s from her new classmates. I am pretty sure I didn't hear this for any other kid, but then again I was only waiting to hear Lily's name called. She skipped, bounced and twirled out and said "Mama I can't wait to go back on Thursday!!"

So I see I am doing my job well with Lily, getting along in the world without me. Now if only I could stop MY misty eyes at every drop off and pick up, we will really be getting somewhere.

And I KNOW in my mind this is such a great thing for all of us. Its just my heart that needs to follow suit. And I will. In time. Maybe this week? Or next. Or for sure, by the following. Or kindergarten. Or 4th grade. Or college. Or ever???