But I thought you loved your job?!

 

Hi Friends-

 

A New Year =

a New Career.

 

Warning:

This is a tough post to write.

I want to be as honest as I can,

and I don't want to offend anyone.

 

So here's the best I can do,

sharing pieces of a bigger story. 

 

Let's rewind.

 

I prepared for 2015,

by dedicating myself

to my yoga practice,

at the end of 2014.

 

I plan on sharing a whole post

  (and then some)

on yoga and epiphany's...

coming soon!

 

In the meantime,

one huge lesson

yoga enlightened me to,

was that I just survived

the 2 hardest years of my life.

 

I didn't realize,

 at the time,

that I was in,

 the worst years

of my life.

 

Looking back with 20/20 yoga vision...

 

I now see...

 

I left

my 10 year,

 part-time -remote job,

where I was working for people

that became my family,

 for a new opportunity,

that was never right for me.

 

My Dad died,

 during my interview process,

and I was afraid,

that not taking the job,

would mean,

I was holding back,

or making excuses,

or something like that.

 

So,

I ignored the whisper inside of me,

and

I chose to forge ahead

 to new adventures.

 

"Be brave!" I says to myself.

 

And I was.

 

Then,

I broke my leg,

 my first Friday after work.

 

You can't make this shit up.

It happened.

 

A horrible new beginning to my new gig.

 

But I just keep going through the motions.

 

At the time,

taking steps,

in any direction,

felt like progress,

to me.

 

I was moving.

 

I was increasing my steps rapidly.

Which left me very angry.

 

Like a dog chasing its tail,

and getting nowhere.

Fast.

Super fast.

 

But...

I was stepping,

and that was my goal,

to take steps.

 

Whether that was

forwards,

backwards,

or falling.

 

Mostly falling.

 

Often breaking things,

my leg, my self confidence, my heart.

 

But I was moving, nonetheless.

 

I was alive,

and a body in motion...

 

So I stayed in motion.

 

I kept on,

carrying on.

 

And then I took a brief pause.

 

I lost my friend Shooty,

 a few months later.

 

I can't make this shit up.

It happened.

 

When I got the call that he was sick, 

I found myself boldly running

out the door,

of my job,

not concerned about PTO,

or phone time or call block,

or any of the metrics

I was suppose to drive everyone to do every day.

I knew in an instant,

 I didn't ever really care about those metrics.

And never would.

I had to go to him,

 in this moment

and I knew it.

 

The moments I was about to spend

with him and Bridget,

would always be more

valuable to me

than any paycheck could offer.

 

 

These were 2 big years for me.

 

Every sad, bad thing

 seemed to be going down,

at the same time.

 

When I had no time

to process any of it,

and just kept on,

showing up to a job,

that didn't value me.

 

"But I thought you loved your job?!"

You Reader Friends, are saying to me.

 

 I know, I know.

I really wanted to.

I tried to find every silver lining I could.

 

So when I found one.

I shared it with you.

 

And I kept the rest to myself.

 

I took a leap of faith,

in taking the new job,

and I do not regret it.

 

 

I understand all the reasons,

why I took it,

even when my intuition,

told me something was off.

 

I was lured by a new opportunity,

a challenge, and a change.

 

There were a lot of people,

and a lot of things,

that I really liked.

 

 And still do.

 

It proved to be the things I asked for,

a new opportunity, a challenge, and a change.

 

Mistake or not,

it brought me to where I am now.

 

So really, no mistake at all.

 

The truth is,

that from the interview process,

 to the first day,

all the days in between,

until my last day,

this wasn't the right job for me.

 

It just wasn't.

 

I wasn't a fit for them.

They were not a fit for me.

 

Next time on the rodeo,

 I don't think it will take 

me so long,

 to hear the voice inside me.

 

I forgive myself for this time,

because I got out of my comfort zone.

 

I took a leap.

 

I maybe failed?

 

I came out with a better sense of

self than ever before.

 

 

I was uncomfortable at work,

 most of the last 2 years.

 

I was uncomfortable because,

my job wasn't in alignment,

 with my beliefs,

and I felt powerless.

 

This is irony,

 because,

I accepted the job in part,

 due to a leadership position.

 

I thought I would have a big voice,

and it would be heard.

 

Turns out, I didn't have a big voice,

and I wasn't heard.

 

I didn't hear my own whisper,

how could anyone else hear me?

 

 

It took me a long time to realize this.

 

I wanted it to work so badly,

or maybe more, 

I didn't want to admit it was wrong.

 

So I tried to change it,

I tried to make it work,

for me.

 

I took a step back,

spending less time at work

and more time with my family,

in hopes that this Band-Aid would cure it.

 

But the new position didn't fix or heal anything.

 

It did provide some relief,

giving me the time

to see the diagnosis more clearly.

 

This job wasn't my thing,

and it will never be.

 

I do not want to speak ill will,

 about my former company,

because it was a mutual agreement

and we took a chance on each other.

 

That being said,

I am very disappointed,

in my experience.

 

Once I realized,

I could not change the things,

that I didn't agree with,

I knew I had to move on.

 

I left, taking the best of my experiences with me.

 

I learned a lot.

 

I was invited to fun parties.

 

Most importantly,

I made a few handfuls full of life long friends.

 

 

I learned about myself.

I learned to listen to my intuition.

 

I planned a graceful exit,

allowing me to give hugs and say good bye,

and shed a few tears with

the many folks that mattered to me,

before I politely showed myself out the door.

 

The timing of my exit, allowed me to enjoy

3 weeks off with my kids for Christmas break.

 

I accepted a new position and started at the beginning of January.

 

Here I am.

Senior Business Development Manager

at Tandem HR.

 

I am already affirmed

 this career endeavor,

is the long term fit for me.

 

Everything that was wrong,

now feels right.

 

I have exceeded all expectations

that have been set for me.

 

I am having so much fun doing it.

 

I can't wait to get to work,

and I leave with a smile every day.

 

They have hooked me up,

with a fabulous home office,

so I come and go, as I please.

 

This is how I work best.

 

Sometimes, this means

I do yoga in the middle of the day.

 

Sometimes, this means,

I am so excited to get back to work,

that I log on, after the kids are in bed.

 

Sometimes, this means,

I choose to head to the office,

 for no other reason than,

 to dress up,

get out of the house,

 and see my team.

 

I am always supported by

 my team,

my boss

and my CEO.

 

I have received more positive feedback,

about my skills, results, effort, energy and attitude,

than in any previous job.

 

I am learning so much.

 

They are investing so much in me,

and I am so grateful.

 

I believe in what I am selling,

I believe in the company I am working for,

I believe in the leadership values,

and I believe in me.

 

Holy Tri-fecta.

I still pinch myself that I landed here.

 

www.tandemhr.com

 

This is no honeymoon.

This is my long term relationship.

 

I have to thank my past 2 years,

and all the pain,

because it brought me to this

new adventure.

 

Thanks for riding the Career Coaster with me!

 

I hope you enjoy the Ferris Wheel even more.