Give her a break!

I have been incredibly hard on my dear Lily.  My expectations are insanely high.  I am so critical of (everything?) her.

Our daily interactions seem to be mostly "get your shoes, do your homework, time for bath, clean your room, NOW, NOW, NOW, all of it NOW! And hurry!"

I hear about her social interactions at school and I get mad.  My mind is screaming "be nice on the playground (dammit)" 

I recognized this all when she came home from school with a headache on the same day, my yoga meditation was telling me to stop being so hard on her and start showing my love for her. 

My (baby of a) 6 year old didn't need anymore bossing from me.  She needed love and affirmation and understanding.

So I stopped it. 

Her recent test scores were perfect.  Meaning, 100% perfect. 

What am I?  Chinese Tiger Mom? Know what I am referring to?  Puhleeze. 

I knew what Lily needed on this day, and it reminded me of a day way back when... Lily was an infant and I declared myself her mother for the first time.

That particular day I threw away advice from books and websites and family and friends and experts everywhere and did what I thought was right for my child.

This day, I told Lily we are not doing any homework tonight.  We are not having a bath.  We are not doing anything.  We are going to lay in this bed and watch tv.  I will cuddle you and tell you all the things I love about you.  I will serve you dinner here.  I will sing you your lullaby a million times.  I will be soft and gentle and warm.  I will not ask you to repeat your spelling words

(you know I do this because I love you and want to help you, right?  You know you I have never mothered a 6 year old before so this is new to me, right?  You know I love you with all my heart, even when I am telling you to get your shoes on for the last time or else, right?  You know I believe in you... think the world of you...and I know you and that is why I expect so much, right? You are 6 now and you should know this, right? Affirm me, Lily, puhleeze, right?)

So I did not have that conversation I was having in my head.  

 I just treated my girl like a baby again for a minute and it was just what we needed.  By the end of the night I suggested I read to her, "no,  I will read to you" she says.

And then she sleeps.

She suggested every time she passes a reading level she should get a night off. 

I wholeheartedly agree.

We all need a break.

And from that day forward I have added a bit of tenderness to my commands and demands.

I wish I had done this months ago.

Now, the creepy-taking-pictures-of-my-child-sleeping-business is something I have yet to learn.

Forgive.