36 or 37ish

Its the Eve of my 37th birthday.

I am too busy working that I have hardly had time to consider this,
but Darin brought it my attention tonight.

And I had to respond with,
"am I going to be 37 or 38?"
 

This time of year is hard for me,
because I start counting
my new age,
in the new year.
 

So by the time my birthday rolls around,
I am really confused as to my real age.

 

I suppose it doesn't really matter that much,

as my oldest younger
(by 10 years)
 sister Amy,
 just sums it up to announce

"Heather is approaching 40."
 

She's right, whether I am 36 or 37,

(or 18 for that matter),

I am approaching 40.

All of us younger than 40
are approaching 40, right?
(Even Amy!)
 

With my Dad's young death,

I think approaching any
of the elder -ish ages,

is desirable. 

To 40 and beyond! 
(I tease you, Aunties,
my most faithful readers now)

 I am grateful.
For life. 
For approaching 40.

 

The thing I am seeing about being 36/37,

is those so called sandwich years.

I am equally worried about taking care of my parents, my children, my staff, and myself.
 

Its an incredibly responsible age,
if I do say so myself.
 

I do not feel so responsible.
 

A big parts of me feels 10 years old.

And I am,
because I am 10
plus all those other years that got me here.

I am all those ages 
I have been before,
wrapped into one
37 year old looking package.

  Its interesting how you see yourself

and treat others, as  you age.

For instance, at my new job
 when a delightful woman,
about 10 years older than me
calls me "Honey"...
...I feel like maybe she's my mom,
and I want to hug her.
 

When my boss,
who is maybe 5 years younger than me, 
talks to me,

I feel like
she's my elementary school teacher.
And I want to please and obey.
 

When I talk to my staff
 (of all ages),

I sorta want them to think
I am their older/wiser sister,
when in reality,
I have no idea what they think, but
I am pretty sure they laugh behind my back.
 

When I talk to my kids,
I know for sure,
they think,
 I am about the same age
and have the same knowledge as God.
(this picture is incredibly hilarious, right?)

37 baby.

I wouldn't have it any other way.