Seasonal Sad Disorder

 

Friends,

Its Spring in Chicago.

The in-like-a-lion kind.

 

I am struggling in my new job.

Its so hard.

Its so long.

Its so uncomfortable.

I go off everyday into

the world,

without my support team.

That part sucks.

One day I snuck out of work early enough to see a bit of daylight and have a surprise date

with Mutual Admiration Society.

She was as ready as I was for our time.
And surprised me by dressing the part.

 



I often get home in time to witness this.

My baby asleep on Daddy's arm.

(and basketball on tv)

Their sweet content, slays me.

I miss my baby.

 

By Friday, my world looks like this.



All I want is to come home and sit on the couch, and cuddle with my family.

 

Weekends are just as busy as the week, as I have to fit in all errands, laundry and chores that took a backseat during my long work week.

 

I had a Girls Weekend Planned,

before taking the new job.

It was a wonderful get away and reconnection with old friends.

 

But I came home Sunday

and desperately needed a nap.

I was so exhausted,

I didn't even realize Lily took our picture.

I found it on my phone a week later,

thought it was a perfect portrait of life these days.



I am pretty much always exhausted.

I haven't figured out the work/life balance.

And really, I think I am just working too much.

 

There are some parts about this new gig that I like.

I like waking up early

and I love Chicago.

I like the excitment of working with smart people.

I like pushing myself and testing my confidence and finding my voice.

I like being part of the Leadership team.

Friday, I spent the day at the Lincoln Park Zoo for a conference.

I loved learning about all the changes and challenges in healthcare.

I like being part of something bigger.

 

Change is good.

Its hard, but good.

I haven't figured it all out yet.

I do know, I can only move forward,

and I do not want to go back.

But I do miss my time at home.

I miss my kids.

I miss the safe and familiar feeling of the old job.

Some days I come home in tears.

Some days I come home so inspired,

 I think my heart will burst.

 

Nothing is predictable.

Nothing is consistent.

Everything is new.

Still so brand new.