Blossom

We spent a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday

with my family in Colorado.

It was awesome to come home,

to the mountains.
 

It was also a vacation,

as we were treated to a condo in

Breckenridge for the weekend.

 

Breckenridge is one of my most favorite places.

When I was little I thought it was a perfect

"Barbie" village.

I was thrilled to share this with Lily and Charlotte.

 

The bigger insights of our adventures

came to me, when we returned home.
 

I realized that children are born

with innocence and self love.

And as we grow up the world talks us into believing we are something other than

unique and perfect

just the way we are.

 

So we try to hid our imperfections.

We pretend everything is ok,

even when our gut is telling us its not.

We ignore our inner most thoughts.

We are not honest with ourselves.

We act like we are something, that we are not.

We compare.

We get jealous.

We get angry.

We don't like these feelings,

so we stuff them down.

We shut them up.

We clean the house,
we have a drink,

we buy a new outfit,

we throw a party,

we post a status update and wait for people to affirm we are likeable.

 

We do all these things to make it seem like we are ok, and to make ourselves believe it.

The "we" I am talking about here is Me.
 

When I get with my family,

they can see right through it.

They do not have to say it.

But I can see it in their eyes,

 when they look at me.

They know me too well.

They are a safe place to say,

I feel angry.

I am not doing all that well for myself.

I am confused.

I am messy.

I am complicated.

I am ignoring myself.

I am blaming, comparing,

and stuffing down my own feelings.
I do not like myself very much right now.

 

I want my children to keep that inspiring

 self confidence they have.

I want them to forever, look in the mirror and be proud of the people they are, like they do now.

Even if, with time and life lessons,

 they become messy and complicated,

like me.

 

Being a mother is the greatest love

I have ever experienced.
 

Wanting to be a role model of self love to my kids, is making me journey back to myself,

so I can be the change I wish to see in the world.

God Bless my daughters.

My greatest teachers.
 

When I was in Savannah,
with my girlfriends,
I was feeling this uncertainty about myself.

I saw this piece of art that said

"and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful
than the risk it took to blossom"
 

Julie bought it for me and it hangs on my wall.

I walk past it every day and wonder
when the day will come,
knowing I am remaining tight in the bud.
 

The day is today.

I am blossoming.

I thank the world for the miracle
of another day to stay on this journey.

 

Enjoy the video.

I think you will see the healing powers of my family and the mountains.

Colorado