Missing Tooth

I say, "Lily give me a smile that really shows that missing tooth."

I get this...I wonder... is it a smile?

It looks kinda angry to me...nonetheless it really features the gap,

so I say, "Nice work Lily!"

So then, I say,

"So do that ,but like SMILE just like, SMILE, ever-so-casually-featuring-that-missing- tooth"

I get this...?... Really.

I think the best way to describe the look on her face is this = a question mark!

Right?

Do you?

I am not going to dive deeper to say the question mark may mean,

"Mom is this right?" Or "Mom you so crazy!"

"Mom? It hurts to fake smile so I am pulling my finger."

Or perhaps even,

"Mom, I am smiling so much, I need a lifetime supply of therapy! Sign me up now!"

No, I am not going there. Because look at my pretty, well adjusted girl.

And how photogenic she is when I stop taking pictures and telling her what to do, and just let her be her.

Without trying so hard to capture" it", in this last picture, I might have.

Notice the boxes in the background,from moving months ago that still adorn our garage?

Well, you see what I mean. Spontaneous. Unplanned. Unsure I would be capturing both our garage and our actual garbage along with my sweet daughter for all to see at the the same time. Life, as it happens.

That sweet baby smile that we love is gone. Of course I knew it was coming. I have witnessed lots of drama from Her MAJESTY. So I had three days to prepare. These same three days I have been working in my newfound schedule of Kindergarten. I have been so focused on Lily that I forgot about me (always a martyr)

The missing tooth reminds me that this Baby Love of mine will never look the same in any moment than she does RIGHT NOW.

And reminds me, THIS wrinkled, chubby, gray haired mom of hers will also never look the same as I do in THIS MOMENT. RIGHT NOW.

As, you three followers, are reading this, its over.

The moment is gone.

Lily and I have both aged in these last few moments.

A blessed reminder of gratitude. Of blessings.

Of the here and now.

And I wish I could state this more profoundly than has been written before.

But I can not. I can only treasure what I have, as I KNOW, it will change.

And I am getting closer and closer to neighbors and friends that have stories.

Stories of life and death and illness and good and evil and the whole.

Just like you and your neighbors and your friends have stories.

I must say, without knowing a thing, I do know things change. So let me be here in this loss of first tooth face for as long and life can give.

Lily P. Lowe, growing up so fast and furious.

And being my "tester child" first born.

For with Lily I know nothing!

And luckily because of Lily I get a second chance with Charlotte. A chance to be a mom that knows something. Anything. Has been here before. In whatever which way. Who's counting? I recognize I am easy and cool and calm and matter of fact and loving in most ways when it comes to Charlotte. And I am overreactive, overemotional, and just plan dramatic and ridiculous when it comes to Lily. And it isn't fair to my sweet girl. My sweet girl who's emotions run the same big, long, intense, expressive, spectrum as mine. She makes life so hard on herself (and everyone within earshot) at times. And I want to suggest she go easy on herself and others. Be gentle. And as quickly as I say it, her passion and emotion has captured me in an entirely new and fascinating way and we are off together, doing puzzles, creating dance routines, hosting science experimental labs in our kitchen and beyond. The emotional intensity is ironically, the trait that exhausts me the most, in both me and her. And more often than exhausts me, gives me the passion and determination to move forward with full force and energy.

And then there's Ceci, how's she doing with Lily at school?

As you can see she's "Stayin Alive".